SLAM!! Was that the door???

Sometimes you can't see it coming and for most that do, you try to plug your ears so the emphasis it brings won't hurt as bad. The slamming door....the door forcefully shut in your face by someone who doesn't want you anymore. Many interpretations can be seen by the imagery of the door slamming; however the true meanings seem to hide themselves awaiting the Heavenly translator to interpret the engravings left on your forehead.

This past week an unexpected door slammed in my face bringing with it shock, uneasiness, pain and a surprising peace unlike any experienced before. I had been asked to resign from my Youth Ministry position at Crestview Christian Church. The reasoning??? I had a sinful past that couldn't be overlooked since it danced its way out of my closet by an old acquaintance. A past where many mistakes of immaturity were made by me and at a time where God was tucked away in the crevice of my back pocket only getting the gaseous reminisces of my already devoured actions.

I had a past that I was afraid of to share and too ashamed of as well. God has returned back to the place he belongs in the center of my life and this "stain" upon my life was still viewed as a stain by a body of believers whom are taught to see the white cleansed by the blood where the stain once was....however, that was not what happened.

I am not writing all this to gripe in bitterness the happenings at Crestview, I am here to testify a much greater purposed shown to me by God by the slamming of this door! You see, when your life seems to be going well and you THINK that God is blessing your every move, that is when you have to see that YOU are being glorified, not God because you expect it. The unexpected happenings are the results of faith where the control is immenently in His hands, not yours....that was my problem. The Youth program was growing little-by-little and the spirit of the congregation was positive....but I accepted the ego boost, not the humbleness that God's power brings over my own....causing me to get too confident, and causing me to let down my guard and boundaries that I had made.

Now the walls are crumbling between God's will and my ego boosting mirror allowing my spirit to feed off of God's intentions, not my own for whatever comes next for my family and I. The reconstruction of my stained past is not over yet and may never be by the time our Savior returns, but when God sees I'm ready to do GREAT and POWERFUL things, even beyond my ministry at Crestview....I can't wait for that door to open!

May you as well see the doors opening and closing in your life, whether bad or good to you on the surface, and see the power God will reveal to you!