Will I Ever Be Heard?

Its only a few hours away before we pack up for the next adventurous trip home to see my family, and another tie is bound within my heart strings that I can't seem to cut free. Have you ever been there? Being over three hours away from my roots I have learned to begin planting my own over here in a foreign state to my loved ones in hopes to "venture out" to some extent. However my efforts to leave the roots that have the mold of pain still seem to attach themselves to me. My mother and I have always had our differences and later in life, have had our good bonding times. I love my mother, deeply and sometimes frivalously after being told of the misery I still cause her so far away. In my growth, I have matured and become someone totally different than the picture she still holds of me as a misguided youth. I listen, I try to empathize with her ailments, however when I speak words of truth, the daggers begin to fly. I am not always innocent, my human side that still holds on to the vision of my youth flash back at her when I have no words to say; but I am confident that I love my mother and am only trying to help ease her frustrations in life. With a dial-tone left in my ear of the last conversation we had, we are hours away from being in reaching distance and she hasn't even mentioned my name to the others. Will I ever be heard? Will I ever be seen as the man before her now and not the youth that once was? To this, I give my recent poem that has some of the feelings of this wrapped inside of it.....who ever reads this I pray that if you are going through something similar that God will heal your pain and bring about maturity in your walk to minister to them. May my words hopefully help you know how important you are to God and how strong you are to Him and frail to this world's grip!

In Christ's Love,
Chad

Frail
I am a decoration of sorts, a mere addition to a beauty called to shade sin’s burn of life.
Strong at its roots, the branches of free-will blow where they may causing the riff of unbalance.
The force of an up and down life weakens the hold of the norm of life, breaking the foundation.
I am free floating, my support base fading away….alone in this sky of the world, I am frail.

What seemed so smooth, the break of discipline now tumbles mercilessly in a whirlwind of confusion; no focus
in sight, the dizziness of the moment vomits the left-over consciousness out.
The wind now dies no more guidance but lies, what happened to my family ties?
My eyes are closed, I see now nothing….as I begin to fall I am ripe for the hunting.
My choices have left me insecure, my blindness unaware; my hell is close, this fire I can tell….my God I am so frail.

Withered not dead, I’m gently faced down, crumbling all-around I ponder where went that gentle sound?
The songs of the birds of praise, the security of my foundational days; the grace that helped me know I’ll be okay?
Alone now I wait for whatever is my fate….for this world has taken its toll.
The nourishment I need is staring at me, yet I chose not to drink to grow my seeds.
From beautiful to dirty my life seems to stay, will my skin be cleansed, and these visions go away?
To be on the tree of life again, oh how I could be! Yet here I lie crushed by the feet of the world’s sexuality.
I am frail….weak and torn….I am frail Lord…..save me from this scorn….I am frail Lord I don’t want to drive another nail…..